NICKS COOL WEBSITE

 
THIS IS NICKS COOL WEBSITE WHERE THERE ARE SUPER DOOPER SHORT STORIES.
DANGER MAN
   

 

  ONCE LONG AGO THERE LIVED A MAN WHO DARED DO ANYTHING. WHEN HIS MATE ASKED HIM TO SWEAR AT THE QUEEN HE SAID OKAY THEN,HE SHOUTED OUT IN THE QUEENS CORONATION,THE QUEEN FANCIES DAVID BARWALL . THIS FRUSTRATED THE QUEEN AND SHE SAID SHUT THE F#~K UP,EVERYONE KNOWS I ONLY FANCIE JONNY BENNET. DANGER MAN THEN SHOUTED " HA HA ,THATS EVEN WORSE". DAVID BARWALL THEN POPPED HIS HEAD UP AND SAID " LOOK I'M TRYING TO DO SOMETHING HERE AND I CANT SUCK WITH ALL THIS NOISE .DANGER MAN THEN SAID "OI BARWALL STOP SUCKING CHARLOTTE DOLBYYYYS DOO DA. BARWALL THEN SAID " GET LOST",THEN HE CONTINUED WITH HIS JOB. DANGER MAN CALLED FOR HIS ASSISTANT JAMES GARRAT THE GREAT.GARRAT BLEW AT BARWALL WITH HIS AMAZING FIRE BREATH . BARWALL FLEW OUT OF THE CATHEDRAL AND STRAIGHT BACK INTO HIS VERY OWN SULO. EVERYONE CHEERED AS GARRAT THE WONDER BOY HAD GOT RID OF SOMONE WHO NO-ONE WANTED TO TALK TO. SUDDENLY BARWALLS EVIL TWIN FRIEND ALEX WALLS CAME OUT OF THE WAX CANDLE FACTORY.ALEX USED HIS GASTLY WAX SMELL TO KNOCK OUT GARRAT THE GREAT, "DAM" SAID DANGER MAN AS HE KNEW VERY WELL THAT ONLY ONE PERSON COULD SAVE THEM KNOW. DANGER MAN CRIED HIS NAME "Mr LUHRSS,MR LUHRSS WHERE ARE YOU",EVERYTHING WAS SILENT THEN A GROOVY TUNE CAME ON. A FAT MAN WITH A MEGAPHONE SAID, "HERE HE IS THE COOLEST OF THE COOLEST MRRRRRRR LUUUUUUHHHHHRRRRSSSSSS, EVERONE CHEERED AS MR LUHRSS CAME OUT IN HIS FLASHY JACKET,HE SAID" PISS OFF SMELLS". SO SMEELS WENT AND TOOK HIS SMELL WITH HIM. EVERONE CHEERED,AND LUHRSS HAD SEX WITH EVERYONE.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF BARWALL.
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A DAY IN THE LIFE OFF BARWALL . 7:00, " I GET UP AND FALL OVER AGAIN. AS I GET UP AGAIN I GET MY JAZZY SCHOOL UNIFORM ON THAT I GOT FROM THE SADDINGTON CAR BOOT THREE YEARS AGO. IT STILL SMELLS ABIT BUT I'M HOPING THAT SOON WE WILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD A WASHING MACHINE , WITH MY MUMS STEADY INCOME OF NINE POUNDS A WEEK WE WILL SOON BE THERE . AT 9:10 I LEAVE MY BEDROOM AND MAKE MY WAY FOR THE TOILET , AS I GO IN I INSTANTLY BOG WASH MYSELF TO GET ME AWAKE PROPERLY. I GET MY HAIR SORTED OUT BY COMBING IT INTO A CENTRE PARTING. I THEN APPLY MY OWN PERSONAL HAIR GELL WHICH I FOUND ONE DAY, ITS AMAZING THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIELD FULL OF COWS THERE WOULD BE A HUGE DOLLUP OF HAIR GELL JUST LYING THERE . I AM PRETTY SORTED OUT, ALL I NEED NOW IS A WASH. SO I MAKE MY WAY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE WHERE I FIND A PUDDLE,I DIP MY FACE IN THAT AND RUB IT OVER MY BODY. I AM JUST ABOUT READY FOR MY SHORT JOURNEY TO THE BUSTOP. I QUICKLEY GRAB ONE OF OUR HOMEMADE BREAD BUNS (WHICH TASTE LIKE CHARCOAL) AND GO OUT THE DOOR. AS I REACH THE BUSTOP WITH MY TRENDY ADDIDAS COAT (COMPLETE WITH THREE D'S) ON AND MY MATCHING ADDIDAS BAG I SEE MY BUS COMING. AS IT STOPS THE DOORS OPEN AND I BEGIN TO GET ON, I GET ALOT OF HASSLE BEFORE I SIT DOWN. THESE TWO KIDS ASK ME WHAT COMPRAMISE MEANS BUT I JUST IGNORE THEM. THEN THEY CALL ME A STUPID PUDDING FACE WHICH MAKES ME LAUGH. I GET OUT MY MOBILE FROM ARGOS AND SEND A TEXT MESSAGE TO SOMONE WHO DOSN'T EVEN LIKE ME. AFTER HALF AN HOUR ITS DONE AND WE ARRIVE AT SCHOOL . GO NEXT PAGF FOR CONTINUE.

BARWALL CONTINUED
CONTINUED. I GET OFF THE BUS AND MAKE MY WAY FOR THE COURTS. I REACH THE COURTS AND I BEGIN TO PLAY FOOTBALL WITH NONE OF MY FRIENDS. THEN A LITTLE FAT KID WITH SPIKY HAIR ASKS HIM IF HE CAN BORROW MY PHONE. I , THINKING HE LIKES ME AND NOT ACTUALLY JUST USING ME FOR MY PHONE GIVE HIM IT. HE WALKS OFF. AS THE BELL GOES I MAKE MY WAY TO MY FORMROOM WHERE I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I SIT DOWN AND AS MY TEACHER TAKES THE REGISTER I MAKE RUDE NOISES. HOWEVER NO-ONE LAUGHS SO I SIT SILENTLY.I'LL SKIP THE DETAIL OF MY LESSONS AND GO STRAIGHT TO BREAKTIME . I GET MY ORANGE BASKETBALL (ALSO PURCHASED FROM ARGOS) AND START SHOOTING SOME HOOPS . BECAUSE I AM NOT VERY GOOD IT FLIES OVER TO THE OVER SIDE OF THE COURTS AND SOME 7'TH YEAR BOOTS IT INTO THE FIELD . I MOAN ABIT BUT HE STILL LAUGHS AND SAYS AT LEAST I'VE GOT FRIENDS. I KNOW HE'S GOT A POINT HERE BUT I STILL DISAGREE ANYWAY BECAUSE I'M HARD AND I HAVE A REPUTATION.THE BELL GOES FOR NEXT LESSON. DINNER TIME IS THE TIME WHERE I GO IN AND GET MY FREE DINNER. TODAY I HAVE RUNNY SHEAPARDS PIE WHICH TASTES LIKE SHIT. I SIT ON MY OWN AND EAT IT. FOR THE REST OF DINNERTIME I PLAY ON MY OWN WITH A PIECE OF GRASS. I'LL GO STRAIGHT TO HOMETIME , AS I GET BACK I FIND MY SMALL HOUSE HAS BEEN BURGALED , NO WAIT THATS THE NORMAL STATE . I SEE MY MUM AND SHE GIVES ME SOME HOMEMADE BREAD. THIS MAKES ME SICK AND I KNOCK MYSELF OUT WITH PUKE . I WAKE UP AT 10:00PM , THIS IS 3 HOURS AFTER BEDTIME SO I GO TO SLEEP. I WOULD GET TUCKED IN BUT MY MUM IS UNCONTIOUS WITH A BOTTLE OF VODKA EMPTY IN HER HANDS.